Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
