Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
