the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
