She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
