The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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