ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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