An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize