Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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