My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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