I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Randomize
