any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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