Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
