We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
