Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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