I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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