There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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