Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i came on her dog
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
