At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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