Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
i now understand why vodka
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
