No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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