What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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