All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
