You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
