these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
