Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
