Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize