Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I am available for nakedness
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
