a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
