Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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