I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize