Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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