I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
