Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
