My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize