I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
