It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
