It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Randomize
