I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
