I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
