If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
