I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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