Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
