p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
