Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
