do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
