i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
