I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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