used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
