i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
