yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
