Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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