Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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