She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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