oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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