it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
