How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
