are you so shy because you have an std?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize