the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize