Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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