get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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