The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
