I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
