My brain says no but my pants say off.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
