This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I didn't notice because vodka
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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