I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
