you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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