I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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